Relationships discussed

Originally posted Oct 6 2006 on my Friendster blog.

Note: Happy Mid-Autumn Festival everyone!

What counts as a relationship? An involvement of mind, heart, body and soul? Do you need all of the above or just one element will suffice?

We had an interesting session yesterday, discussing relationships, romances and regrets till 4am in the morning. When asked to list the number of exes she had, she said,

F1: " Oh, the official ones? Lets see... "

Gang: Huh? Official ones? Then what are UN-official ones?

F1: I count the official ones as the ones that lasted more than one month-lor...

Gang: *stunned*

Well, whatever makes one happy. But personally, I think that a relationship is official once two people decide to get together. Before getting together, they're just 'dating' and it's still 'unofficial'. So I would define a relationship as an involvement of mind and heart. Love (all-consuming and all-sacrificing) may come along only later but tender feelings are most likely (or should be) in play. Therefore, the 'soul' component is not all that necessary in the start of a relationship. As for 'body', it may or may not be there, depending on your age, inhibitions and upbringing. So 'mind' and 'heart' should be enough to constitute a relationship, shouldn't it? Time would have nothing to do with it. A relationship may last for 50 years or 5 days, but if you manage to love deeply, strongly and richly, the relationship will be more real to you than your own face in the mirror.

As the night wore on another story was told...

It was his first relationship and it lasted five years with the girl. However in all the years they were 'official', NOT ONCE did they hold hands, much less kiss. They didn't even communicate all that much, just through letters and notes passed from one to the other. It was never said out loud as the relationship was forbidden but the others around them understood that it existed. Such an arrangement would not even count in the eyes of many. But for the people involved, the emotions are real, the time devoted and commitment are real too. Though bound by nothing more than an unspoken promise, he had eyes for no one else for FIVE years. I think it was a relationship that was real enough to him and yet entailed nothing more than an involvement of mind and spirit.

I think there is no definite criteria for saying when a relationship starts. Each is unique in it's own set of circumstances. However, I do think that there is something very wrong with our world when so many HAVE EVERYTHING yet starve for love.

You can not seek love, it finds you.

You can not take love, you can only give it.

You can not know for the reason for love, you can only love.

You sometimes have to give love a chance, but love gives you more chances than you will ever know.