This is how I fall in love

My best friend and I were discussing what we would look for in a guy. Assuming that we were in a perfect world and there were no constraints on who we could choose, I asked what her ideal man be like.

Her first and immediate response: “Lee Hom!!!” (Wang Lee Hom, that is..)

Haha, I kid you not… Well anyway, I prodded her for more specifics, like height, sense of humour, looks, body, character and etcetera. To summarise, she likes the slightly goofy-intelligent-geeky type (think Peter Parker) and I realized that I do not have a specific ‘type’ that particularly appeals to me. The guys that have gotten close to me are all very different (looks-wise and character-wise) and I was wondering what it was about them that I was attracted to.

Everyone paying attention? Okay... The first things I notice about a guy are his eyes and smile. It’s not so much the eyes itself but the expression in them. A guy can have the biggest, most beautiful eyes in the world, framed by long curling eyelashes BUT if he has no more expression in them than a dead fish on ice then I tell ya, my heart ain’t gonna be skipping any beats.. As for the smile, it’s that indefinable something, a combination of charm, amusement and magnetism that makes it compelling. As Liz put it,

“When he smiles at me it must make me feel like smiling back…”

Well said!

And that’s just the first impression. If I like a guy’s eyes and smile, it will be easier for us to become friends. Then this is where the second level of attraction happens for me. If the guy’s sense of humour is compatible with mine and we share a mental/intellectual connection, I may start to like him. It is difficult to pin down the kind of humour and mental connection that I’m attracted to so I’m not even going to try. AND, I’m not using ‘like’ in the normal generic sense, I‘m talking about ‘like’ as in the “imagining romantic scenarios with him as the male lead” sense. Ahem..

Erm, to get back to the point...

So, the initial attraction should lead to the discovery of a mutual humourous and mental compatibility, then comes the last, most important and the trickiest part; actually falling for the guy. This is where the guy’s voice, hands and smell are VERY important. So important in fact, that I’m going to have a separate paragraph to elaborate on each.

When I’m already at the second level of attraction, i.e. ‘liking’ the guy, more often than not we will be spending a lot of time on the phone. If he has a nice voice, I will start to fall for him a little bit. A nice voice (on a guy) is a voice that is deep, yet soothing and somehow makes you melt a little on the inside. That’s it, a bedroom voice! People go on and on about bedroom eyes but I honestly think a bedroom voice is ten times sexier.

(That's a picture of a random cute geeky guy. You're welcome, Liz..) =)

Then comes the hands. It’s not so much about the shape or aesthetics of the guy’s hands, it’s more about how they move, how he uses them to handle objects. Some guys are very clumsy with their hands, swinging them about and handling objects carelessly. Then there are guys that seem to be very deft and capable with their hands, whether it is doing the dishes, writing out notes or handling a joystick (ahem, the PS3 kind!). Guys’ hands of the second category are sexy. Perhaps it’s the thought that those hands might be handling you with the same sort of skill and sensuality somewhere down the line... Hint: This is why girls find guys who can play musical instruments so attractive. Another note on the hands, they should not be excessively clammy and sweaty, for obvious reasons. Warm, dry hands are a nice bonus. =)

Lastly, the deal clincher is the guy’s smell. Seriously, this either makes or breaks my attraction to him. It’s not about the perfume he uses (if he uses it). I’m referring to the naturally occurring smell of the guy’s skin. It’s not the way he smells after a shower because he’ll just smell like his toiletries. It’s the way he smells about 2-3 hours after that, when he still smells clean but also warm, a little musky and oh-so-very MALE. Every guy has his own scent, different from the rest.

By this time, there should be a meaningful connection with the guy, based on a lot of talking and hanging out. So, come the time when we are comfortable enough with each other for him to give me a hug, and I lean in and press my nose against his neck and breathe in his scent… If it wipes my brain clean of thought, melts my spine and makes me want to rub my nose against his neck, the deal is sealed. That’s it! I’ll be a woman in love, a melted puddle at his feet, putty in his hands......