It doesn't take a lot of effort, just a little thought

"Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die."

So said Robert Sternberg, psychologist.

Falling in love is easy, maintaining it is hard(er). Hah, I don't need a psychologist to tell me that…

Through the miracle of Facebook (where there is no concept of ‘secrecy’ or ‘privacy’), I’ve been able to conduct my own personal (and unofficial) survey of my friends’ relationships... Fine fine, I’m a busybody! Do you want to hear this or not?

After glancing through their profiles, a rough pattern emerged… Most people undergo a change in their lovelife at or around the same time they move on to the next chapter (stage) in life.




Hehe, it’s not an earth-shattering discovery, but it’s still interesting to observe among my own age demographic. A lot of these people are known to me since at least high school, which is when a lot of them started getting coupled up. Then when we moved on to tertiary education (university, polytechnic, college, etc), the majority of us (myself included) split up with our partners and got loved up with someone new. Now that most of us have moved on into the working world (c’mon Siao Hui, graduate already!), I am again seeing the dance of re-shuffling partners.

Of course, some people are evergreen singletons and some relationships have survived the transition from student to member of the workforce. However, these are the exception rather than the norm.

I suppose at each transition, your horizons are expanded along with your options. It’s like ‘levelling up’ and gaining access to new skills/weapons (hehe, how did you know I play games?). Naturally, it’s tempting to shove your old model overboard and get yourself a shiny new state-of-the-art model. With a 3Megapix camera! Bluetooth! Video playback! And hi-speed internet! But I digress…

So many relationships now are based on ‘status’ and ‘what you can offer me’ rather than genuine feeling. So many people get bored with what they have, so they go for the ‘latest model with additional features’ when they think it comes along. So many people don’t understand you have to make an effort to make a relationship WORK. As per the psychologist, you have to express your emotions, translate it into actions to keep love alive.

Why wait for a special occasion? Send your girl a snail mail love letter in your best handwriting, buy her a single red rose, or simply kiss her hand that you are holding, because it’s a Tuesday.

And ladies, why not slip a simple note into his work clothes, buy him that new PS3 game, cook his favourite dish or give him a 10 min shoulder massage the next time you see him? Why? Because the sun rose today.

It doesn't take a lot of effort, just a little thought.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

"Selamat Hari Raya,

Kepada saudara serta saudari.

Setahun, hanya sekali,

Merayakan hari yang mulia ini..."

It's that time of the year again! May all of you that are travelling to 'balik kampung' have safe journeys and peace to all! It is at festive seasons like this that my tummy misses Malaysia more so than before... Save me some rendang and ketupat?

Maaf zahir batin..

Musings on the Moon

It's that time of the month again, when the waning moon diminishes with each passing day and dwindles into nothing. Next week, the new moon will reappear. My moods and cycles are closely tied to the phases of the moon. It is probably to be expected as I was born under the sign of Cancer. Right now, I am melancholy, moody and contemplative, right on schedule with the 4th phase of the moon.

In my old room, the room of my girlhood, the moon would rise outside my window and call to me. I remember so many nights where I would wake from my sleep and scoot into the bright spot on my bedroom floor where the moonlight lay. I would sit, hugging my knees and turn my face to the moon, basking in its glow. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear it whisper to me, telling me secrets through the moonlight on my skin. I would sit for what felt like an eternity of time, the moonlight wrapped gently around me, soaking up what I can almost swear is the gentleness and emotion carried within it. When I'd had my fill, I would whisper my thanks to the moon and climb back into bed for a dreamless sleep.

~**~


Do you dream in your slumber?

I used be blessed with dreamless sleep, except on the rare occasion where I would dream about people that I would eventually meet. A few years back, I started to dream more frequently and vividly about events and characters that in no way related to my real life. My dreams had plots, twists and turns that were fantastic, improbable and that followed upon the events that happened in previous dreams. There were characters that I got to know very well and reappeared in subsequent dreams, building a connection and history with me. It was like having another life, a life that I could live only when I was asleep. And the most fantastic thing was that I would have perfect clarity of mind in my dreams. I would understand what was going on, remember what had happened before and how all the other characters related to one another. I would recognise when and why events happened as they did and my own role amongst everything.

And then I would wake up.

Like dew evaporating in sunlight, I would forget. For the life of me, I would not be able to recall the slightest detail about my dreams. The only thing I would know is that I dreamed, a lot of things happened and that it followed upon a dream I have had before.

Could it be soul memories of a past life, perhaps?

I have Facebook!

OMG FACEBOOK

Yeah, I've been suckered into it too.

Melissa sent me the invite..

Chee Mun said "It's supposed to be better than Friendster"

David said "Finally you joined the most addictive thing on the internet since IRC"

I say, " WoW still kicks ass with both hands tied behind its back"

Muahahahaha...