It doesn't take a lot of effort, just a little thought

"Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die."

So said Robert Sternberg, psychologist.

Falling in love is easy, maintaining it is hard(er). Hah, I don't need a psychologist to tell me that…

Through the miracle of Facebook (where there is no concept of ‘secrecy’ or ‘privacy’), I’ve been able to conduct my own personal (and unofficial) survey of my friends’ relationships... Fine fine, I’m a busybody! Do you want to hear this or not?

After glancing through their profiles, a rough pattern emerged… Most people undergo a change in their lovelife at or around the same time they move on to the next chapter (stage) in life.




Hehe, it’s not an earth-shattering discovery, but it’s still interesting to observe among my own age demographic. A lot of these people are known to me since at least high school, which is when a lot of them started getting coupled up. Then when we moved on to tertiary education (university, polytechnic, college, etc), the majority of us (myself included) split up with our partners and got loved up with someone new. Now that most of us have moved on into the working world (c’mon Siao Hui, graduate already!), I am again seeing the dance of re-shuffling partners.

Of course, some people are evergreen singletons and some relationships have survived the transition from student to member of the workforce. However, these are the exception rather than the norm.

I suppose at each transition, your horizons are expanded along with your options. It’s like ‘levelling up’ and gaining access to new skills/weapons (hehe, how did you know I play games?). Naturally, it’s tempting to shove your old model overboard and get yourself a shiny new state-of-the-art model. With a 3Megapix camera! Bluetooth! Video playback! And hi-speed internet! But I digress…

So many relationships now are based on ‘status’ and ‘what you can offer me’ rather than genuine feeling. So many people get bored with what they have, so they go for the ‘latest model with additional features’ when they think it comes along. So many people don’t understand you have to make an effort to make a relationship WORK. As per the psychologist, you have to express your emotions, translate it into actions to keep love alive.

Why wait for a special occasion? Send your girl a snail mail love letter in your best handwriting, buy her a single red rose, or simply kiss her hand that you are holding, because it’s a Tuesday.

And ladies, why not slip a simple note into his work clothes, buy him that new PS3 game, cook his favourite dish or give him a 10 min shoulder massage the next time you see him? Why? Because the sun rose today.

It doesn't take a lot of effort, just a little thought.